We have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
This is something I have said as a fitness instructor many many times. And today, it takes on an even deeper meaning. The only way to any kind of change is through the discomfort. If we really want to battle racism, we have to come to terms with the subconscious racism all around us (like the beige crayon being named "flesh toned"). We also have to be a part of the conversations, especially the uncomfortable ones.
For those that are wanting to make a true change, we must commit to doing the work long after the protests stop. Because as much as we want to think there will not be, there will be another Ahmaud Arbery or George Floyd unless we get uncomfortable and have the conversations of what we can do in order to create the change and steps toward true equality, understanding and peace. As non-black people, we need to have an honest and uncomfortable look inside ourselves and see where we experience white privilege and white fragility in order to be a part of positive change.
It's hard to know sometimes in times of struggle to know how to help. I wanted to put together a list of resources (and there are certainly more than are on my list here so keep researching!) so we can learn, get educated, and most importantly be a part of creating positive change.
As a Mom, I believe in having age appropriate conversations with our children. Racism is not something we are born with, but it is learned.
So is anti-racism and the bravery to speak up. Talking to your kids and having the hard conversations while giving them hope and solutions can be hard. But it is necessary now more than ever. Additionally, I believe that our education system can do more to teach from a young age that racism did not end with segregation. I will be doing more to talk to my kids' schools about how to keep the conversation of what racism is and true equality so we can do better for all of our kids.
Here are some resources for you to start:
Some of these resources were shared with me, and some I researched on my own. There are obviously way more, so use the powers of Google and Social Media for good!
A very comprehensive list of resources created by Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein in May 2020
Additionally, one of my favorite suggestions from my African American friends is to look up clubs at your alma matter. Most colleges have clubs for POC, and they need money to operate. You can donate to the clubs directly!
Here are some additional resources by category:
How to talk to children
Bias isn't just a police problem, it's a preschool problem NPR article
Tips for talking race with small children
New York Times - Books about racism for kids
For the adults or older kids, here are some other ways we can help.
SDSU – list of resources diversity.sdsu.edu
San Quentin Prison Project
- Support African American owned businesses
- Listen to podcasts and read books to educate ourselves further
- Donate to known and trusted organizations like the NAACP (side note - Beachbody just donated $1 million to the NAACP. Yet another reason I am proud to be partnered with them!)
- Follow African American activists on social media for education, conversation and resources (Barak Obama did an amazing post yesterday on Instagram. Find it here)
- VOTE! For everything. Not just presidential elections, but primaries and the smaller things you may not normally vote for, or ignore on a ballot (if you have done that in the past) and do your research on exactly what it is and who it affects and how.
- Find the grassroots organizations doing the work and volunteer or donate to them.
- Know your History - it's time to revisit history books, biographies, learning about systemic oppression, the role we play in upholding systems of white supremacy.
- Listen. Talk to your black friends. Call them and ask to have an honest conversation about their experiences.
- Stay updated. Follow hashtags like #blacklivesmatter #justiceforgeorge #irunwithmaud
Here are some websites with additional information and resources
(there are obviously more, use this list to start and do your own research as well)
Black Podcasts to listen to
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People
* Virtual TownHall meeting Wednesday June 3 at 5pm PST, 8pm EST*
Rachel Cargle's video Public Access on Revolution
Lisa Nichols on the Mama Truth Show
Rachel Cargle TEDx talk on Racial Inertia and Ancestral Accountability
Megan Ming Francis TEDx talk on getting to the root of racial injustice
David Ikard TEDx talk - The dangers of Whitewashing Black History
Follow on Social Media
I hope you use these resources, allow yourself to get uncomfortable and most importantly, educate yourself, as I am doing, take action, and be part of the conversation to facilitate change. We have a long way to go. I have to believe we can make progress, but we have to do the work.
It's new Years Eve at the end of a decade! And if how we start our day affects the rest of our day, how we start a new year and a new decade matters even more!
I'm going to keep this quick because I know you're probably off to that party so before you go, here are some tips so you can wake up tomorrow to start the new decade feeling amazing and able to start 2020 right. (insert fist pump emoji here ;-) )
1) This goes without saying but first please be safe on the road. Grab a Lyft or Uber if you need to and be aware if you are the DD. Because nothing else I'm going to say will matter if you don't make it home tonight at all. I love you ad you matter so be safe.
2) Stay hydrated! Those little vitamin shot things don't help. Trust me. But what will help is drinking water along with your bubbly. So sparkly drink, water, sparkly drink, water..etc. This is the only "double fisting" that is allowed. Through the rest of the day, if you want to add some Pink Himalayan sea salt to your water for some extra electrolytes, that will help as well. As alcohol reduces our electrolytes. A healthy hydration drink like this one here (I use this during workouts in heat and after a night of drinks like tonight) - https://bchbody.life/2ZK4LSL will help too (stay away from the sugary Gatorades as they just mess with your blood sugar)
3) Eat - Oh man, if I could go back and give advice to College Sharla, it would be Please Eat at or before a party. Sound familiar? Yes, please eat. Noone wants to be that person at the party, so take time to have a few bites of the apps and you will enjoy yourself much more.
4) Be kind to yourself and have fun!
I wish you ALL a very happy, safe and fun New Years Eve and a FABULOUS start to 2020!
Happy Thanksgiving Week!
It’s been a while since I’ve written and we have so much to catch up on!
There are some exciting things to come, so I’m really excited to share them with you…over the next couple of months 😉 For now, let’s just make it to the end of the year, am I right?!
Here are my “rules” to get through the next couple of months without gaining the pounds...and the accompanying guilt!
1. Water first – always stay hydrated! You can totally have a glass or two of wine at the parties, make sure you “sandwich” them with a glass of water. A Water Sandwich looks like this – water – wine (or other drink – water. That’s it! Make it a double by going water – drink – water – drink – water! You get the idea 😊 (If you’re afraid your friends will give you slack, add a lime to it and no one will question you, I promise!)
2. Move your body every day for 20-30 minutes. That can be a walk, a dance party in your living room, a family bike ride, a nature hike, or a class at the gym. No time for the gym? Try my at home workouts and save the drive time to/from the gym. And bonus – your germ-free shower is right there! And at $99 for a year (rolling, not Jan-Dec) you can’t beat the value for the price!
Click or copy into your browser for access - http://bit.ly/bestyear4me
3. Load up the veggies! I often get asked what your Thanksgiving plate should look like – and for someone like me who likes a little mashed potatoes with my gravy, I make a huge effort to load up the veggies on my plate! I look for veggies that aren’t loaded with a creamy sauce, and pack ‘em on!
3a) In case you’re like me and looking for those last minute menu options for your Thanksgiving table, here is an amazing recipe for a veggie! It's a healthy take on the Green bean casserole! http://bit.ly/healthycasserole
Having been in the Health and Fitness world for a decade now, I get asked all the time what my recommendations are for people who want to build a home gym, or just what I use in my own home, what books I read for self-development and even what blender I use for my daily smoothies. This year, I put everything together in a comprehensive list and am attaching it so your holiday shopping can be easy-peasy. The best part is EVERYTHING can be found online (Thank you Amazon Prime!) I figure you can use this list in a couple of ways – to get ideas of what to gift your health and fitness minded loved ones, ideas of what to ask for (every year when my husband asks what I want I’m like “I think…well…I dunno”), or print it and leave it strategically around the house with certain items starred, circled or highlighted (or if they really need the help, do all 3 LOL) as a hint so you can be “surprised” I love to hear how you like these things too so if you get one (or three) as a gift, let me know how you like it! (The only way I could get it to upload was in 4 files like below...if you would like it emailed to you in PDF, email me and I am happy to email them to you)
Enjoy and let me know what you try! Happy Thanksgiving!
I was doing a little research today....
because I've always had some bit of overwhelm and anxiety from parenting small children, but lately the anxiety has been particularly high. And even though there have been times where I have felt completely alone, I know that I'm not alone. I know there are others out there like me who have had Anxiety, and whose anxiety has increased by like 1,000 since they became parents and I wanted to know why. Why does making and raising little people increase anxiety? So, I came across this article -
And it got me thinking - is it really an Anxiety disorder? Or are we suffering from what could simply be called....motherhood.
(or fatherhood...anxiety doesn't discriminate.)
So, I took the article, and I re-titled it 12 Signs you are a parent! Check it out - give it a like, and please share it because I know the message is one that many parents need to hear <3
You can find the video here -
What's your Superbowl?
Hint: It doesn't have to be sports related!
Have you ever felt like everyone else is "winning" and you are stuck doing the same ol' stuff day in and day out? Like you're left behind....you may be doing all the right things, you may be doing exactly what "they" say you "should" do, and yet - you're not achieving the RESULTS YOU WANT.
WHOA. Total Downer.
I'm going to encourage you to think about this - can you think of ANY sports team in history that has won 100% of every game they played? (Full disclosure, I had to Google this because I'm not the person you think of when you think Sports statistics.) I was hoping the answer was 0, but actually it is very few - the 1934 Chicago Bears, the 1942 Chicago Bears, and the 2007 New England Patriots. (Thank you Wikipedia) That's it. And that only counts the regular season, not the pre-season, where they did lose games.
Why am I talking about this? Not just because the Superbowl is this Sunday, but look at how many teams there are that have lost many games throughout the season, yet won the Superbowl anyway? EVERY OTHER WINNING TEAM IN HISTORY.
Here's my point:
1) We learn best from our failures. Without failing, we never actually learn anything. This is why football teams have practices. They run drills, they do practice games, they run plays over and over and over until they get it right - they allow the space to get it wrong. Then, they reassess and try again. You know what they don't do? They don't give up after the first time it goes wrong. They learn from the mistakes, the failures, they pick themselves up, and they try again with some tweaks.
2) And this is the most important thing - they have their TEAM, and that team has a COACH. Yep. Bottom line is this - no one can do it alone. Every single person who has accomplished anything big has had a coach/mentor/tribe walking alongside them. Supporting them, cheering for them, holding them accountable, keeping them focused and on course toward the big goal. Olympic Medalists? Have a Coach. Oprah? Has a coach. (She totally does, and I've leaned some of my tricks from him)
Remember that episode of the Brady Bunch, where Bobby and Cindy try to break the World Record in See Saw? They had to keep each other awake, the whole Bunch helped feed them (I never saw how they went to the bathroom, but that's a different blog....) and Mike was their Coach. They didn't break the record, but that's ok, because they still had each other and they tried their best....my point is even Bobby and Cindy couldn't make a go of it alone.
So my question for you is - What's your Superbowl? What is your "Bobby and Cindy" dream?
I've heard people ask "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" And say things like "Failure is not an option." And I'm going to call B.S. on that way of thinking, because, as we've just learned, failure is how we learn best. Failure is what guides us and drives us to succeed - IF we are allowed the space to fail safely, and we are able to re-frame it into something that acts as a guide, a learning experience and a growth opportunity. And if we stay the course and (to quote Dory) Keep Swimming.
Remember what driving was like before we had GPS on our phones? I don't know about you, but I got lost all. the. time. (I still manage to get lost even with the GPS sometimes, but I maintain that's my kids fault for distracting me into singing Jojo Siwa or Hamilton at the top of our lungs and not for any other reason than that.) But I also always ended up at my destination. Maybe not in the way I expected, but I always found it. Every single time. And when I did, I was even more proud of myself for finding it. Life is the same way. It has twists and turns and roadblocks all over the place. What matters is how you deal with them.
Your victory will be sweeter when you get there after losses, failures, and mistakes. Easy is boring. Your victory is sweeter when the journey is hard.
So, what's your big, crazy dream? What would you do if you knew you might fail a bit along the way, but you knew in the end, you would also succeed?
And, what kind of support do you need to get there? What kind of coach do you need?
I'd love to talk with you about how I can help you reach your wildest, craziest dreams. Whether it's weight loss, a career goal, a health challenge, or a life transition, I am here to support you, cheer for you, hold you accountable, and help you find your way when you get lost. You can send me an email, or click on "Book appt" here -
No B.S. Let's change your story. Make it happen. With loads of love. You're a badass. Go get 'em.
Sharla Mandere is an Empowerment Coach helping busy people live empowered lives through healthy living. An empowered life is one that is rooted in fun and fabulousness, where you call your own shots, and choose wisely and confidently for yourself and your family.